yesterday morning, i received news that someone has passed away. i wasn't directly related to him nor have i ever met him before, but i heard about him: he was a son of my friend. i felt terrible when the words breached through my ears. as my friend shared before, the son was about to get married soon and already has a 2 year old child. my friend seemed excited for his son's wedding, but he is now faced with a funeral of a young man instead. all i could say was "shit." shit... i don't know how my friend is dealing with his loss, but it hurt me as i gather my senses and realize how much i liked this friend. the emotions did not leave me alone and work didn't seem to grab my attention. but as the day went by, i could no longer just dwell on the tragedy and had to continue on with what i had to do for the day. and so seemed the rest of the world. as i was scrolling through my excel sheet and digging through pdf files, i started thinking about my life. i haven't faced many deaths or losses. then i thought to myself: you can't turn back time. even through the regrets, dismay, sadness, once they are gone, they are gone. you can only move forward. easier said than done. who knows how i will react when something hits me like that. will i be able to accept the truth, or will i fall to the dark and endless depths of regrets, sorrow, and anger. i just hope to do my best while i can. and of course, easier said than done..

i am sorry for your loss...